The End Is Near

The two Davids go head to head tonight in the two-night season finale of American Idol. The CORNY opening depicts a boxing match with both Davids decked out in boxing robes and sporting gloved punches in each other's direction. How lame.

There's a freakin' Coca-Cola logo littering the screen - not just in the backdrop, but in the forefront too.

I don't think I can do this whole watching, let alone blogging about it, thing. This could be the "Jump the Shark" year.

Did you happen to catch the season finale of Desperate Housewives the other night? I'm so wanting to just smack Cherry around for jumping his own creation. Stupid, stupid, stupid move in fast-forwarding the show five years next season.

But back to the other show that makes us angry.

Round 1 features songs chosen by music mogul Clive Davis.

David Cook is up first with "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For." While it's a perfect match for Cook's voice, he does nothing with it to make it his own. From that aspect, I'm disappointed. The crowd certainly isn't though, but that's probably because his vocals were on the money.

"Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me" is what Davis chooses for David Archuleta. He doesn't do much to change up this classic either. That said, this was the performance of an American Idol. Perfect.

Round 2 features songs submitted in the Idol song contest. Both contenders gets to pick from a pool of ten songs.

David Cook performs "Dream Big." The song is reminiscent of the 80s' Big Hair bands. Even so, it proves to be a good jammin' diddy for Cook. That's going to be a big hit on his debut album. Fun!

David Archeleta chooses "In This Moment." Girls are screaming so wildly I can barely here him sing this typical cheesy mush stuff. Decent vocals but the song does nothing to excite me. Yawn. Girls continue to go gooey.

Round 3 is Contestants' Choice.

David Cook picks Collective Soul's "The World I Know." Why would he choose this song? It's not a bad song but it's not a song that's going to win him the competition. Does he not want to win? Boogers! It's a good performance and the emotion of the night finally gets him in the end. The tears of joy and exhaustion could win him the competition. But Archuleta still lurks around the corner.

David Archuleta goes with "Imagine" by John Lennon. He's one smart 17-year-old for relying a song he excelled on early in the season. Go home boys and girls. Archuleta has one the competition. If I'm wrong, let's all get together for drinks and salute my insanity. He did it. He absolutely did it. A results show is totally unnecessary.

Confession: I enjoyed tonight's finale much more than I had expected.

Crappy, Sappy, Who Cares?

What's worse, the choices we have for the next American Idol or the choices we have for the next American president? Vote in the poll on the upper left hand side of your screen.

Judges, producers and the contestants themselves were responsible for choosing tonight's songs.

Judges' Choice

David Archuleta
"And So It Goes"/Billy Joel/Chosen by Paula
This is, perhaps, my favorite Billy Joel composition. Archuleta gives us a pleasant delivery but it lacks the "soul" necessary to completely pull it off.

Syesha Mercado
"If I Ain't Got You"/Alicia Keys/Chosen by Randy
I may have stated on this blog before my dislike for Alicia Keys. However, Syesha starts out strong and my hopes get high until she leads into the chorus with weaknesses not even befitting of a backup singer. But then she comes back with a vocal home run. I'm not sure how to feel about that. During the judges' feedback, Syesha starts to display annoying diva-like behavior.

David Cook/Chosen by Simon
"First Time Ever I Saw Your Face"/Roberta Flack
I don't like this song at all. Will Cook change my mind? I'm almost disturbed by the way he's caressing the mike stand. I still don't like the song but David C. definitely brings his own personality to it and demonstrates his incredibly blessed vocal talents.

Contestant Choice

David A.
"With You"/Chris Brown
First note out of the gate is flawless. Definitely pop star quality. He sounds a little winded though. Doesn't matter. Girls are swooning. Smart song choice.

Syesha
"Fever"/Peggy Lee
Another good Syesha performance completely lacking in distinction.

David C.
"Dare You to Move"/Switchfoot
This song has so much exposure right now that I'm not sure I can make a sound judgment on Cook's performance. I can't tell if he's giving it the ol' Cook "twist" or if he's struggling with it vocally. Randy called it pitchy so maybe that's what I'm reaching for.

Producers' Choice

David A.
"Longer"/Dan Fogelberg
Looks like despite the PITA Archuleta's dad has supposedly been behind the scenes, the producers are pushing for him to win with such an perfect song to voice match here. That said, the arrangement sounds a tad odd. If I hear Randy Jackson say "You can sang the phone book again, I'm going to absolutely screech.

Syesha
"Hit Me Up"/Gia Farrell ("Happy Feet" soundtrack)
The least enjoyable performance from Syesha tonight. She's going home ... I hope.

David C.
"I Don't Want to Miss a Thing"/Aerosmith
He doesn't rock it out and his voice is starting to sound weak. What's up this year? Now it sounds like he's having to force it on the chorus. There's been no COOKing in my kitchen tonight. Is it the truncation of the songs tonight to squeeze three songs for each contestant tonight?

Overall, sucky showdown leading up to next week's finals. I think we all know who is going home - but should I bother voting?

Keep Coming Back for More!

If American Idol wants me to keep watching for years to come, just put Adam Levine on stage. That was the ONLY highlight of tonight's show - Maroon 5. I'm not sure yet, but M5 could ultimately make the fourth slot on my list of all time favorites. I don't even have one in that position right now. Adam Levine definitely keeps me coming back for more. If you don't have their albums - buy them. They will make you shake your booty and bring you great happiness.

Oh yeah, the group song stunk, Bo Bice got lost in his ratty hair and expectedly, Jason Castro FINALLY gets sent home.

Hogwash

It's down to David Archuleta, Jason Castro, David Cook and Syesha Mercado.

I'm so old. David Cook is singing a song from 1982 - the year he was born. It just happens to be by one of my favorite groups of all time - Duran Duran. I've only seen the in concert six times. I need to work on that. Giving "Hungry Like the Wolf" a try - I'm just not feeling it. This is a song that only the vocals of the aging, yet hot - make that H O T - Simon LeBon.

Syesha's first song is Tina Turner's "Proud Mary" and she really has nothing to be proud about that performance because it once again demonstrates that there's nothing unique about her vocals. Yawn. The crowd loves it. Randy and Paula love it. I agree with Simon - "A bad impersonation of Tina Turner."

Jason - Why are he and Syesha still here? - sings "I Shot the Sheriff" by Bob Marley. It's not "bad" per se but I really don't care for it at all. Y A W N. Randy refers to "karaoke." Too kind, perhaps? "Utterly atrocious," laments Simon.

These are the cream of this year's crop? This Hoovers!

David "Awe Shucks" Archuleta gives "Stand By Me" a try. Thank God someone knows how to choose a song in Round 1. Not brilliant or anything like that - just significantly better than the other three.

Please - PLEASE - let's have a gooder Round 2.

David Cook tackles the Who's "Teenage Wasteland" and it's immediately evident that he's much more in his element here. Thank God!

Don't you wish we could vote people off rather than vote to keep them? That might be fun in the presidential election too!

"A Change is Gonna Come" - a song released after Sam Cooke's death - is Syesha's closing effort tonight. I like this performance infinitely better than her first - but still, no definition to her voice. She might make a good back-up singer - ya think?

Jason Castro unfortunately sticks to his classic folk rock roots with Bob Dylan's version of "Mr. Tambourine Man. Okay, I know Dylan has a tendency to slur words and grunts together in his vocal deliveries, but Jason just completely da da das his way through. At least he owns up to it. Other than the flub, his vocals were excellent. But at this stage of the game, Simon wisely advises Jason to pack his bags.

David Archuleta closes out the show with Elvis's "Love Me Tender," one of the first songs I learned to play on the clarinet. Alright Archuleta, open your eyes. This is definitely not a copycat version, in my opinion. Again, I'm not blown away, but it is delightful.

So I think David Cook wins Round 2 but overall, for the night, Archuleta is the winner.

It makes no difference if it's Jason or Syesha going home, just so long as it's one of them this week and the other one next week.

This is turning into hogwash.