Yee Haw! Idol Does Dallas

Now that I've had a chance to reflect on last night's season opener of American Idol, I've come to two conclusions. First, the format needs to change. It's a formula that has worked for six years, but after that length of time, we need something new, something fresh.

Along with that, are you growing tired of the showcasing they give to the obvious no-talents as I am? Do a vignette/montage to close the show with the freaks and give the spotlight to those who deserve it. What do you think? I'll kick things off by only highlighting the good in tonight's show.

First up is a recovering meth addict, Jessica Brown. She sings The Pretenders' "I'll Stand by You" and, while her voice is good and well-controlled, it's nothing we don't already have out there. Jessica showed promise though and the judges voted her through to Hollywood.

It's going to be difficult not commenting on the no-talents because the first freak is absolutely hilarious and as Paula said, "joyful." But not good.

After all that dreadfulness, beauty adorns the stage with Alaina Whitaker singing Faith Hill's "Stronger." She sings as pretty as she looks. No doubt this one's going to Hollywood. She's only 16 years old and she's full of confidence.

Back from the break and we've returned to the badlands - the really bad.

While not so bad, Bruce Dickson, a guy who has never even kissed a girl, let alone be intimate with one, just isn't good enough for the judges.

Zpia Easley puts her chops on a Gladys Knight tune and I like her, but can't really tell what the judges think from facial expressions. Turns out that this stylish model with a bit of a blonde mohawk and tattoos everywhere is loved by the judges love her.

Up next is a guy who is a bit creepy. Instead of biting his nails or clipping them, he hs a bad habit of tearing them. But wait! There's more! Brandon Greene has kept a bag full of his torn nails for the last seven years and he even shows it off to Ryan. My hopes aren't high for this one but then he sings Hall & Oates' "Rich Girl." This is a great song and Brandon does a pretty good job. Simon, however, calls him "forgettable." Paula and Randy disagree and while we'll get to see more of Brandon in Hollywood, let's hope he leaves his bag of fingernails at home. That aside, this guy is cute in a weird way.

The next girl, Kayla Dawn Hatfield, is cute too, despite being disfigured in the face as the result of a horrible car wreck when she was younger. Now a strong, positive survivor with the brightest outlook on life I've ever seen, Kayla's all grown now and has two kids. Today, brings a unique, yet odd, approach to Janis Joplin. Kayla starts out strong but after the first line, the audition took a turn for the wild blue yonder and really, really weird. Strangely, Simon is overcome by Kayla Dawn's infectious spirit and wants her through to Hollywood. Paula says no but Randy likes her enough and I guess we get to see more of this bad singer. I'm baffled.

Speaking of cute, Kady Malloy is up next. She compares her style to Britney Spears and Carrie Underwood and sounds exactly like them. But at the encouragement of the judges, she gives another song a try and just sings like Kady and let me tell ya, this girl is really good. Simon calls her the best they've seen so far this year.

At the end of Day 1 in Dallas, 12 people have tickets to Hollywood.

It's Day 2 and if a certain former coworker happens to be reading this ... I now have a new appreciation for Bon Jovi. 'Nuff said.

Who can look that gorgeous wearing a hair band? I want Paula Abdul's silky hair.

Kyle Ensley looks like and is a geek. He's double majoring in things that offer excellent career opportunities and yet, his optimism has him on the American Idol audition stage. He wants this more than he wants to be the Governor of Oklahoma. Surprisingly, Kyle has a very nice voice and even gets a yes from Simon. Randy says, so it's up to Paula. It takes some coaxing, but with some campaign promises to not be like Clay Aiken from Season 2, Kyle gets a yes from Paula and he's going to Hollywood.

Oh my! The bad ones are so entertaining tonight! That's what I get for ditching commentary on the bad. Dang it! Curses!

What's up with Colton Swan's hair? It reminds me of those pencil topper trolls with wild hair. This guy needs an eyebrow waxing. Okay, that's enough mean. Even Simon's been relatively "nice" this season. Back to Colton singing Little Big Town's "Boondocks." I was expecting something more "punkish" from him, based on looks, but he's pretty good with the country. Simon was either way on this one but in the end, Colton gets three yeses.

Farmer Drew Poppelreiter is a good ol' country boy and I absolutely adore him well before the audition. Then he sings one of my mostest favoritist songs ever, George Strait's "Check Yes or No." While Drew is no George Strait, he's pretty good. Despite having no "wow" factor, he makes it through. Yay!

Tonight, I was introduced to the term "Guy" liner. Dudes wearing eye liner. I let Duran Duran get away with it just because lead singer Simon LeBon is HOT HOT HOT. This dude, though, is scaring me, like, for real, dude.

Not scary at all is Miss Nina Shaw. This girl looks like she just walked off a fashion plate from the 60s. Looks aside, Simon is not at all impressed with Nina's voice. Randy and Paula see the look and the potential. She's not the winner, but I'm glad she made it through to Hollywood.

Okay, if you didn't watch tonight, you missed so much. Let's just say, remember the name Renaldo Lapuz.

Unlike the season opener, tonight's show has to be the most entertaining ever. The bad were bad, but in a good way! FUN FUN FUN!!!

By the way, 12 more make it through to Hollywood on Day 2.

Next week we go West to San Diego, California. Hope to see you here!