Season 7

When American Idol first hit the scene back in 2001, I thought it was a passing fad and a big waste of my limited viewing time. While not a passing fad, I am beginning to question whether or not it's a big waste of my even more limited viewing time, let alone continuing a commitment to blogging about the whole experience.

But because of American Idol, I have had the opportunity to make new friends, even if the only thing we have in common is our fascination with this show that has done quite well for itself in its first six seasons. It will be interesting to see if the Writer's Strike and lack of new television programming will have any effect on Idol's ratings.

Here we go ... Season 7 kicks off in Philadelphia and it's Day 1 of auditions.

The first contestant up for bid is Joey Catalano. Wait a minute ... I thought we were watching American Idol and not Biggest Loser (which was recording on the much-beloved DVR). Joey says he's lost 205 pounds and from the overlay of pictures, indeed he did. Good for him. But all I really care about is whether or not this dork can sing. Turns out he can't be that big of a dork because he performs Maroon 5's "Sunday Morning." His voice is very nice and pleasant but is it enough for judges? Three yeses make it so.

Alaa Youakeem moved to America two years ago from Egypt. Since then, he's developed quite an affection for the Bee Gees. Unfortunately, even his charming accent couldn't lend a hand to his horrendous rendition of "How Deep is Your Love?"

Remember all the back up singers from last year? How about Melinda Doolittle who, despite not winning the title, is the American Idol in many hearts. Let's go back another year. Remember Taylor Hicks? Well, Melanie Nyema sang back for Taylor and, now, she wants the spotlight too. She just might get it with a ticket to Hollywood after a smooth performance of Natasha Bedingfield's "Unwritten."

James Lewis, a tour guide in the City of Brotherly Love, was encouraged by his coworkers to audition for American Idol. His song of choice was "Go Down, Moses." I remember singing this in Spring choir back in college but I don't remotely recognize his song to be anything like my choir's masterful performance. I can't help but think his coworkers were being mean because let me tell you, it was one of the most awful performances in American Idol history. Paula and Randy spiralled into a fit of laughter. It was bad. Very bad.

If that weren't bad enough, a whole string of no talent followed including an Asian dude who "sang" "Hush Little Baby."

To be fair and balanced though, Junot Joyner did a nice job on Elton John's "I Guess That's Why They Call it the Blues." Jose Candelaria sang something lovely in Spanish while a cute Jonathan Baines brought us a great sound. I have no doubt we'll be seeing more of this all-American boy.

Then it was Temptress Browne's time to shine but I was confused. She looked like a girl - granted, a very large girl - but she claimed to be a middle linebacker on her high school HS football team. She was there for herself and there for her ailing mother. Temptress put her heart and soul into Jennifer Hudson's "I'm Not Going Nowhere" but sadly, this sweet 16-year-old didn't have the chops for this competition. The poor baby pouted and tears were streaming from her eyes as the judges delivered the bad news. Out of character though, they hugged her and walked out with her to help soothe her feelings of rejection. My husband is thinking so far ahead that he can see Temptress being invited back for the finale.

Mark Hayes makes me wish for deafness with a hideous rendition of "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas." Did this guy really think this was a good idea?

Udgeet Sampat did it "his way" and was definitely worse than the last loser and now we're treated to a not so enjoyable Rock n Roll montage.

But wait. It gets worse. Alexis Cohen seems to be having a gender crisis and she performs Grace Slick's "Somebody to Love." From a vocal standpoint, Alexis would be great in a bar, but she's no American Idol. Simon was not terribly cruel towards her but still, we had to endure a stupid tirade which involved this girl's middle fingers and a nice butt shot. It was a performance, and a bad one at that.

Are you ready for the heart-breaking story of the season? Angela Martin's daughter developed Retts Syndrome around the age of two and medical care is constant and expensive. Angela is hoping to have a career that will ensure her daughter gets the needed medical attention. She may not be the next American Idol, but, she's going to Hollywood following an "okay" performance of Stevie Wonder's "Signed, Sealed, Delivered." It doesn't hurt that she's absolutely gorgeous. Her entire family support system was there - the girl is blessed.

The second day of auditions in Philadelphia and all I can say is that Alyse Wojciechowski's "Feelin' Good" was one hell of a way to start out the day. Simon described it as a nightmare and unfortunately that nightmare continued with a man, claiming to be 39, singing an original song called "No Sex Allowed." While I could appreciate his message of abstinence to the young population, it was totally inappropriate for this venue.

There's hope on the horizon though with Kristy Lee Cook singing "Amazing Graze." The only thing more amazing than her wavy blonde hair and rockin' body was her delightfully unique voice. The judges were unanimous in their sending her to Hollywood. I know it's early in the season, but this girl has Top Ten potential. The husband seems to be in love.

Paula's not in love though. Some dude named Benjamin enters the audition room in get up unlike any ever seen before, even on American Idol. Worse yet, there was some type of "armor" on his chest which "framed" his beastly chest hair. Paula suggested a wax. Benjamin made the mistake of asking if he could come back if he got it waxed and within seconds, this strange one was off to see the wizard.

In Ryan's words, it got hairier back in the judging room. Instead of hairier though, I'm going to say scarier. Much scarier. Paul Marturano wrote a song about Paula Abdul and to sum it up, he basically confessed to being a Paula Abdul stalker and he had to be escorted out. The thing that scares me is that it freaked Simon out more than Paula.

Speaking of stalkers, Beth Stalker performed "Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered." She sounded more like someone who should be singing in a smokey nightclub. Simon said no but Randy and Paula felt she deserved a second chance.

Back from the break and Benjamin has returned hairless. He barely gets the first three words of the Pussycat Dolls' "Don't Cha" out of his mouth when Simon and Randy ask him to leave. Too bad. He should have at least gotten a few lines out just for waxing all that burly hair.

Next up is Chris Watson. I'm not diggin' the dreadlocks but there's something about his face and particularly his eyes that are going to make the girls swoon over him. He's near flawless with Uncle Cracker's "Follow Me" and all three judges vote him through to Hollywood.

While fast-forwarding through the commercials, compliments of the DVR, a Wal-Mart commercial catches the eyes of the husband and me. It's a promotion for their pizzas - easily located in the deli section. We eat it all the time because it's fresh and terribly inexpensive. Better yet, Wal-Mart's pizza is the best thing to hit my taste buds since Deorio's Pizza in Columbus, Georgia.

Unfortunately, I was not paid for that glowing endorsement.

We're down to the last two Idol hopefuls from Philadelphia. Christina Tolisano, an obvious Star Wars fanatic, was up first with "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me." While the sun may not go down on Christina, the curtain certainly did.

Will we end the season opener on a sour note? Nope! Brooke White's pure sound, image and personality won the judges over fast. I have no idea what she sang, but who cares, we'll be seeing more of Brooke.

So there you have it. We've started another season and 29 contestants from Philadelphia have tickets to Hollywood. Did anything impress you tonight? Did anything shock you? Let's get this conversation rolling!