Mutual of Omaha

Did you ever watch Animal Kingdom growing up? When I asked the husband, I was reminded I'm six years older. Not directly, it was his look of confusion that gave it away. Okay, I digress from the ever-important topic at hand. Tonight's carnival of characters comes to us courtesy of Omaha, Nebraska.

If this is real and not Photoshopped, they've got the coolest corn field crop design of the American Idol logo. Turns out, the harvest sculpture is real. That's sweet! Gotta love those midwesterners!

The first dude up is a real dork and now my husband (MAN) is mocking the beautiful nasaliness known as the midwest monicker. As lovable as the accent is, this guy's performance gives me chest pains and heartburn. Simon's letting him down easy and I can't help but wonder what he's been knocking back. This "guy" is a certified lunatic.

Jason Rich is a handsome, young, part-time farmer from Stout, Iowa. His nerves get the best of him though and he has to start the song over like five times before he gets all the way through it. Luckily, Simon and Randy (Paula's plane is delayed) exhibit patience and we're treated to an actually good voice. Cutie farmer dude from my home state makes it through to Hollywood.

Other lyric losers are not so fortunate. Some things are just too funny not to air though ...

Back to those who can sing though, like Rachael Wicker. She's an arm wrestling champion and hopes to have similar success singing. She takes on a big Lee Ann Womack song and has a very nice country voice. Simon thinks the performance is too old, and I can see where he's coming from. I also can see that Rachael looks like a blond Julia Roberts. While Simon's not really fond of her, Randy and Paula like her and thankfully, she's on to Hollywood.

Ryan pokes his head in after some gothic girl with a wacky witch laugh doesn't make it through. Somehow, he and Paula trade spots as Samantha Sidley is about to audition. Samantha sings Nora Jones's "I Don't Know Why" and she sounds almost exactly like Jones, only a little more sultry. After picking apart her stage performance, Ryan says he would vote her through but they decide to leave it to the "professionals" and Paula's called back in. As it turns out, Samantha gets five yesses - if you count votes from me and Ryan!

A whole slew are making it through now, including Elizabeth Erkert, Denise Jackson (who reminds me of Fantasia) and Michael Sanfilippo - all of who I hope to hear more from.

Who else makes it through? Angelica Puente, 17, from Wisconsin. The judges feel her performance of Celine Dion's "The Power of Love" is a mimick. Even so, Simon says, "Clear up these nerves and we'll see you in Hollywood." Hooray!

David Cook is up and he immediately gets a strike from me as he mentions he'll be singing a Bon Jovi ear bleeder. Even so, his voice is different from everything else we've heard. Still, I can't stand Bon Jovi - sorry Darci Rae! Lucky for David, the judges aren't as biased as I am.

The highlight of the evening is now brought to us by Paula Abdul as she blurts out a loud, unexpected hiccup followed by "Excuse me!" That's even before Johnny Escamilla gives a frightening performance of "Shout" from the Isley Brothers. It makes makes me want to shout - and not in a good way.

There's one person left in Omaha - Leo Marlow. He is a self-described "Homecoming Queen" and proves it by singing one of my favorite Carpenters tunes: "A Song for You." In addition to being very good, I admire the fact that he's not afraid to be himself and he doesn't try to be anyone else. He gets an "absolute yes" from all three judges. Leo is so happy that he cries. Still, he's a good kid who we'll probably see a lot more of.

There you have it - 19 young farts make it through to Hollywood.

So, do you think American Idol will EVER return to Nebraska?

Tomorrow night - Miami, Florida - a big Texan Howdy to my brother- and sister-in-law.